Time is a healer?

It's been over 5 months. It pains me to sit in silence when all I hear is my own breathing.
My mind draws me back to great times with my best friend.
The silly this is I even miss her silent presence around the house.
These days I have many distractions to keep me occupied, but I find that in the evenings the brokenness is harder. I believe the test of my personal journey and my commitment to Christ highlights how far I have fallen from from grace. But He always have an exit. I know it is them He carries me. I will strive on and fight the good fight. The journey is only halfway and I don't think Pauline would want me to dwell in this mire of pity and loneliness.
Recently I have been going through our photographs to find one I have taken with her but most of them are either of Pauline or the scenery. That's the problem with being a photographer. However, last week my brother sent me one photo that he found in his camera. He took it during our trip to the Ancient Silk Road. What a photo moment to cherish. I still miss her.

Equitable Bushfire Relief

I was listening to 3AW, Neil Mitchell with Tom Elliott , discussing how the distribution can be equitable. Whichever way the state and federal government go in handing out bushfire relief, there will be those who will not be happy. Especially those with full or partial house and content insurance and those without.
Generally there are 4 general case senarios: All homes destroyed by the fire.
Home #1 - Fully insured and sufficient to cover rebulid
Home #2 - Insurance insufficient to cover rebuild
Home #3 - Uninsured – working family
Home #4 - Uninsured – family on pension or CentreLink allowance

The government should encourage ownership for the rebuilding of homes. Rather than just merely giving the bushfire funds out, the government should make the funds available as an interest-free loans to those who need the funds to rebuild.
To make it equitable for all, I have simply structured an incentive along side the assistance for everyone.
Home #1 is no funds required but they are entitled to tax deductible insurance premiums for the next 15 years.
Home #2 receives interest-free loan to cover the gap between insurance payout. Insurance premiums are tax deductible for 10 years. Repayment of the interest free loan term is assessed on the income of the family.
Home #3 receives interest-free loan to rebuild and repayment terms assessed on the income of the family.
Home #4 receives interest-free loan to rebuild and repayment terms assessed on the CentreLink assistance and small amounts are deducted.

This is a fair and just way to rebuild. The funds in the pool are then used for future assistance etc. This will give a sense of unity for those who have so generously given money and assistance to those who need the money. The principle is not new - refer to the hex education scheme.

It's been along time…

The last time I blog was 10 months ago. Time has just gone past so fast. As I sit in Knox Private Hospital and write, Pauline is resting just an arm's length away.
Her pancreatic cancer is now non responsive to treatment.
In my opinion, pancreatic cancer is the most ruthless cancer. There are not many trial happening for this cancer. Partly because pancreatic cancer is so ruthless.
In May of this year, while I was searching for pancreatic cancer on the web, I came across "The Last Lecture" on youtube. It was inspirational - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
I then joined PanCan - http://www.pancan.org/ This is an organisation born or Randy Pausch's legacy. I urge to support this organisation so that there may be a solution to this disease.
There is not a lot I can do for my soul mate, Pauline, except to pray for God's peace and thank Him for his generous blessings.
Until we meet again.

A letter…

In the wee small hours of one January morning, I felt really sad. I wasn't sure why I would feel that way. But I felt I was sinking in a mire. The time was 2am. My eyes were fixated on the computer screen. The email window was blank. I was thinking about everything in my life. How my plans for the future are now in turmoil.

As I gravitated lower and lower, a "you've got mail" alert herald a new email. I click and open this letter:

Dear Casey

Has God spoken promises to you that haven't come to pass? I want to let you know it is natural to struggle with that. You may ask, how and when will God's plans and promises come to pass in my life? Sometimes, you might even try to make those things come to fruition in your own way. Abraham was very familiar with this struggle...

Abraham had two sons, one from his slave wife and one from his free wife. The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God's promise. But the son of the free wife was born as God's ownfulfillment of His promise... Sarah represents the heavenly Jerusalem. She is the free woman, and she is our mother... you are children of the promise... "Get rid of the slave and her son, for the son of the slave woman will not share the inheritance with the free woman's son." ...we are not children of the slave woman; we are children of the free woman.Gal 4:22-30

Attempting to fulfill something God has promised but hasn't yet released you into is not obedience, it is striving. Striving brings a weight, burden or heaviness that God hasn't positioned you to carry. Now is the time to stop striving. The true promises and plans of God won't be fulfilled in your strength. In His timing, God will produce something far beyond anything your strength or ability can create.

What are the areas of your life that God has specifically given to you? Those are the areas where there is grace, provision and blessing to labor in. You are in obedience when you cultivate those areas because it is good stewardship.

Are you willing to wait to see God's promises and plans come forth in His timing and His way? Settle this within yourself now and the Lord will renew your strength and you will enter into the true peace of God.

Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

For His Kingdom,

John and Lisa Bevere

The best birthday gift of all

The last time I contributed to this blog was five months ago. Nine months ago, Pauline was diagnosed with an inoperable pancreatic cancer, words failed me - just quiet tears and silent groans.

Long drawn out days came and went. A sense of helplessness overwhelmed. Daily home chores and the cooking filled the days. Office work filled the rest. Nights were the most difficult times. Seconds seemed like hours. My study became my quiet place for many nights. There were so many people who have been praying for us. And by the grace of God, His strength is sufficient for me to get through each day. It was great for have Sarah home. The silence was often punctuated with trivia quizzes in the day. The night air oftened filled with the aroma of a bakery.

Pauline completed her first treatment in November last year. After her first re-staging, she was prescribed two more chemotherapies. These really knocked her about. After two more courses and restagings later, her cancer protein markers dropped significantly. A good sign albeit they were still rogue cells.

Last Sunday was my birthday and I did not feel like celebrating. My wish was for healing for Pauline. On the 5th Feb, Pauline went for a PET scan (Positron emission tomography - a type of nuclear medicine imaging scan).

Today 8th Feb, a day after our 28th Anniversary, Pauline's oncologist contacted me and said Pauline is in remission - the cancer is gone. I could not have ask for anything more. We thank God for his grace and healing.

It feels like I have been on a long journey along a narrow path lined with thorn bushes. But I also felt that I have been guided our of these tough times. Today I praise and thank God for this wonderful gift of my soul mate, best friend and partner - Pauline.

Thank you family and friends for all your thoughts and prayers. May our God of love and peace bless you all richly.

From little grains, an emperor's robe...

Patience rewards those who persevere.

Pauline some months ago, sat down and began to organise a spectrum of coloured glass beads. I ask about her new project and she said all will be revealed. Days became weeks and weeks became months. Finally, one evening, she revealed what I can describe as incredible. An emperor's robe.

Some things just cannot be described. This is one of them. An array of vivid coloured beads - golds, blues, yellows, reds etc., strung together on a single thread.

Well, here it is for all to enjoy.

With you... together... always...

Something exciting was happening in Perth and I was unable to be a part of. It was my brother's 60th birthday celebrations. However, I knew I was there in spirit and that he'd understand. Of course he does. He is the only brother I have albeit a couple more spiritual brothers and sisters.

Pauline and myself celebrate his birthday with "Ham Choy" soup, Baby Bok Choy in garlic sauce and steam chicken with rice.

So what can I say about my brother (Tai Kor). My love for him is from my heart. He has been an incredible tower of support to me all my life. As a teenager, I remembered the first thing he taught me when I failed my "O" level exams, he was in Singapore. I was both disappointed and depressed. He rang me and said, "Be strong, try again, failure is just another step closer to success". That thought has never left me. I repeated a year and subsequently joined my sister and him in London to pursue my tertiary studies. He has help make me become who I am today.

I have been so blessed to have everyone in my family caring and supporting Pauline and myself. This, I believe, is the measure of the strength of our family. I thank God for my brother and everyone else in my family.

I love you all.

Leaning on the rock of salvation

It's been well over a month since I hit a key to my blog. This evening on 23 May 2007, my soul mate, my best friend, my wife is confirmed with pancreatic cancer. The surgeon has to be given full credit for his perseverance in getting to the bottom of this. After all Pauline had already undergone a major operation in an attempt to remove the tumor, which proved to be inoperable, and two biopsies. It was the second biopsy's histology that confirmed her condition.

However, there were many unanswered questions but one thing holds true in the answers to my many questions. The answer is found in Proverbs 3:5-6. " Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Upon hearing the news this evening, I left for the hospital to be with her and all along the way I hear this song ringing in my mind.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, all is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Amen

God bless all who are here.

Time's fun when you're having flies!

Before you know it, a month passes and soon it will be Christmas. That's what it seems like.
It has been a hectic 4 or is it 5 weeks.
I had an opportunity to go the Fiji to cover three weddings on three islands. I went with a mate of mine - Steve. We were never been known as wedding photographers but we try. Well there is always the first time.
There is no shortage of rain in Fiji. I prayed that the rain clouds would drifted a little farther south to Australia where we need water most. None the less, It took me 3 days before I realised that I can actually have a nice long shower!
Day one - The Treasure Island Resort.
We were greeted Fijian Bula style with the guitar serenade by the staff of the resort. Every Bure (hut or chalet) faces the ocean. This resort is ideal for those who wishes for nothing but the tranquility of the sand, sea and sky. You are void of worldly news and all there is to do is to chill out. What a life! There is a quaint chapel - frequented by numerous weddings. The local fauna is a little chook (chicken-like bird) that scampers around the island.
Day two - The Lomani Resort
This is a adults only resort. Romance is the flavour of the place. Love is always in the air.
Lomani is one of three resorts on a large island. The other two resorts are The Plantation (for families) and The Musket Cove.
Day three - Sheraton Denarau
There is a chapel at the promontory of this resort. This place has every thing you would expect from a 5-star hotel.
Day four - Nadi
On our last day, Nadi flooded. We got into a cab and asked to be driven to all the flooded areas. Quite exciting really.
Soon we were on a plane heading back to Melbourne. Time flies indeed when fun is involved. More images are available (click on image below,)

Fiji

Vroom Vroom

Last weekend was the start of the F1 GP calendar. I was generously given a ticket to the J0nes stand by my nephew from Perth. My brother and most of his kids (adults actually...free ticket remember) flew over for the race.
Sometimes I wonder why would anyone spend $600 (free for me) and sit in the sun the whole day to watch cars go round and round. Well, if you don't get it you never will. Motor racing is a passion that does not require any explanation. The excitement of the race, the speed, the noise and the atmosphere. Many patronise the GP because of the grid chicks. I attend because I like it.
Some of the images of Saturday are available for view at Picasa:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ohenzo/AustGP07Saturday
http://picasaweb.google.com/ohenzo/AustGP07Sunday

There were cars, many cars but the people was just as captivating.

We race on to the next race - in Sepang Malaysia.

What happens when you work late.

Pugs as faithful as they are will get away with their sleep when it gets late. As they slip into slumberland, their repertoire of snores adds to the atmosphere of the small hours of the morning.
Zeus (male) is on the left and Clio (female) is on the right. Unfortunately for the male species of the world, Clio is the smarter of the two albeit Zeus is larger.
With faces like them, you just have to love them no matter what time of day, or what state they are in. Zzzzzzzz.

Magical Gems of a bygone era

Last Saturday I was invited to a MG Car Club Concours at the Como Park. I do not own a MG but seeing the owners and their restoration was a treat in itself. I went around taking photos of MGs as I think I know how (Room for improvement). Those who are interested to see more can see it here.
By the end of the day, I noticed there was a for sale sign on a MGC TC? (it's a V6) which was tempting, but the lack of knowledge of anything mechanical brought home the reality of owing a historical marque. I'd be better off being the owner of just the images of an MG. Vroom Vroom. Mmmmm Geeees I wish I have one.

There's no place like home...

Sarah and Gene has been home for almost a month. Time flies. Most evenings were spent eating a variety of cuisine. From Japanese, Italian to Aussie Kangaroo.

Both Sarah and Gene are formidable cooks. So all that's left for Pauline and myself is to eat.

Bon Appetite mate.

Jia Hui Hwei Jia (Sarah returns home)

There's nothing more exciting than to see your child come home. Especially after they have being out of the country for almost half the year in the Middle East - Doha, Qatar.
It was two night ago when I receive a call from Sarah, just landed in Doha from Paris, with her flight details. It wasn't encouraging to learn that she was on a wait listed in Singapore till 28th Feb before she can get on a flight. The annual Chinese reunion dinner, on the 18th February, was going ahead with her absence.
This morning while I was in a meeting, I received a call from Sarah in Singapore that she was coming home Sunday morning. Her ticket (valid for 6 months) was expiring and she had to depart Singapore for home asap. I suppose this got Emirates to respond and gave her seat on the flight to Melbourne. Unfortunately, Gene and Nick are stuck in Singapore, probably till the 28th Feb. I hope they can get home as soon as possible.
Like I promise Sarah, some home made Char Siew (barbeque pork) is going to be on the menu. I believe Sarah has learn more life's experiences than me at her age. When I was at her age, the only plans I had was how to get a date with a girl. Well how time's changed.
Well, uncertain where her next project will take her, all we are going to do now is to enjoy her company...soon.

Cake supplied...

Pauline did not wish to celebrate her birthday with an elaborate dnner. As all men do, we comply. But I thought at least we can have a cake.

Every Tuesday evenings, I conduct a small group bible study so the time for me to celebrate with her was later that evening - lile 11pm.

There was no ready cake mix in the pantry. But (Bing!) an idea. It wasn't the size of the cake but the sentiments. So as you can see it was a fantastic night when I brought out this morsel with a match as a candle. The peanut cake was tough to cut. But all in all, a great night.

We sat and watch Superman but I don't remember watching it because I fell asleep.

After 27 years, she is still my best friend and I love her so.

Moral of the story: Never put off anything. Love your spouse and friends. Make time and watch things happen.

The Magic of Melbourne

Often a picture is worth a thousand words.

Emm. I wonder what 40 pictures are worth?

Enjoy and welcome to Melbourne

Half way to 108!

Well I suppose everyone has a day in the year where it reminds you that you have chalked up another 365 days. The day began with yawn and a call from Sarah in Paris. It was a day where I had to show my parents how to operate their cable TV. A day I took Pauline to the hairdressers and a day where I spent an afternoon in the city taking photos of the city. But it's has been along time since the clan had the opportunity to gather at the table for a meal.

When you are half way to 108, you wouldn't want to make an event of it. It was to be a celebration that everyone could make it (Sarah and Gene are excused – still in France). It was a dinner for my parents returning from Canberra; my nephew Aaron for his new job; Jon for his research grant; Julian for his new born - Pablo and also return to Australia; my sister's return from Japan; and all their lovely spouses.

We had a lovely meal at a restaurant by the banks of the Yarra. My jet-lagged sister found time to sneek in a birthday cake. There weren't any cameras but these days of technology meant there was always a cellphone camera. Light was a little dim so to complete the photo, I was lit up by a tiny LCD light. The cake was absolutely devine.

So when I have only been on earth for just under 500,000 hours (19,710 days), one's perspective on life changes some what. While it is important to celebrate the milestone, I believe relationships far outweights our time on earth. The privilege of relating is without favour nor envy (albeit I was shown a beautiful IWC timepiece).

Well I suppose when everyone relates well, it makes this insignificant milestone quite worthy of celebrating – and thanks for the gifts guys.

It almost came to naught...

Robert McNaught discovered the comet C/2006 P1 on August 7 2006. The comet is commonly know as the McNaught Comet. I heard of it just a couple of weeks ago. It goes to show how up to date I am with current affairs.

Nevertheless, the last couple of evening I endeavoured to go out and experience this one in many life time comet. according to astronomers, this comet isn't coming around for another 100,000 years! On the 23rd , I tried to look out of our backyard but there was cloud cover. Emm.

On the 24th Jan, Pauline and I went up to Mt Dandenong to take a look but I arrived at the gate house of Mt Dandenong at 10.02pm. The gate closes at 10.00pm. Streuth! (always wanted to say this).

Last night, 25th Jan, we went to Williamstown over the western side of Melbourne. This would enable me to avoid the city lights of Melbourne. Our destination is also a lovers' haunt. I felt it would be intrusive with my huge Nikon D2Xs with the 200mm f2 lens plus a 1.7x teleconverter. Well, I suppose the love birds, if there were any would know that I am pointing at the sky.

When we arrived, there were a few cars but we decided to drive further to see if there was a clear area for me to park my tripod and camera gear. Yes, indeed there was. In the relatively large grassed area a couple of gentlemen were also star gazing. I was scanning for anything bright. I focused on a bright object bit it turned out to be Venus. Suddenly, one of the guys pointed to a faint area of light and there it was - The McNaught Comet. A couple commented that It was one of the best nights. This made me feel good.

Gazing at the universe made me started to sing "How great thou art" -

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Well, it was an experience and I am over the McNaught that I see and capture this glorious comet.

We will go out tonight, at an earlier time, to see if I can improve on the shot I have taken.

To learn more of Mr McNaught's discovery, just visit:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet_McNaught#History

Else everything will come to naught.

Build Gate would be happy

To those who know this is the driveway of my parents house. The previous wooden gate lasted just over 18 years. It was falling apart.
So over the Christmas season I took on the challenge to build a better gate. To move from the wooden age to the metal age. The problem was the driveway's width. It wasn't the standard driveway width. It was too narrow for a double gate but too wide for a single gate. From the image you can tell I have gone with the latter. The width of the gate is 2360mm. The steel frame required diagonal beam support. Welding was out of the question. Bing! an idea. A suspension system will provide sufficient support. Instead of some serious Emm... engineering, I chose 2x 6mm diameter stainless steel cables tension with a turnbuckle.
After initial prayers followed by 7 hours for fabrication and painting of the pickets, the new gate was lowered into the new hinges and with a lock installed, the task was finished. The neighbours inspected the gate and it met with their approval albeit there were some stray drill holes on the frame through miscalculations. Well some putty will soon fix that. By my Emm... calculations, this gate should last at least 20 years. By then I would not know a drill from a driver. For those who require explanation, a drill is not a march. It drills holes while a driver screws! This is noted for my own reference in 20 years time.
No sooner when the sun set, my tools - drill and driver and screws are packed away for another project.

You only need a heart.

The previous mesh ring was nice but it was too big. Pauline was a size 5 and not 6. Anyway, it looked a little too big for her when she put it on. I took Pauline back to Tiffanys to let her pick something out herself. I was surprised at the number of people in the store - still shopping. Pauline tried on the size 5. It fitted but it still looked very bulky. She asked the staff if they had the "Dragonfly" ring. The lady replied yes but it's at the front of the store. I knew the expensive rings were kept at the front. Nonetheless, she must have seen the ring before. The lady casually brought the ring out and placed it on Pauline's finger. It looked ok. Bravely I enquired about the price - $1170. Emm. Pauline removed the ring and handed it back and asked the lady to show here some alternatives. We ventured back to the rear of the store and next the mesh ring was on that had a heart on it. It was more refine. I knew it had her name on it. The lady brought it out and slipped it onto Pauline's finger and I knew that was what I should have given my true love - a heart.